Grieving doesn't end when we forget another's pain

Throughout the United States, family and friends are gathering for the celebration of Thanksgiving. Many will watch the big parades, football, play cards, eat to their heart's delight.

Yet, for many, today is a day of transformation. One that may include the pain around the loss of a loved one.

Likely there are many who will not know what this feels like. Others will know the feeling all too well.

Today is the first Thanksgiving many people will be without a loved one who has passed. Unless the loss directly impacts us, we can forget how raw the feeling in one's heart.

If you are sharing the day with loved ones who have gone through a loss in the last year, and this is the first holiday they are going through this, remember to be extra gentle, caring, loving and kind. We may forget the pain another is experiencing. 

With those who cannot share the day with us, a phone call to say "I love you", "I'm thinking of you", "I care" can be a welcome call and bring so much comfort. It is in the simplicity of reaching out, transformation continues to occur.

It is in the remembering we create oneness with our loved ones who remain. The loss of a loved one shifts our life forever. Make today a day of gratitude for the love we can still share and the memories we can continue to create.

Happy holidays to you and yours.

Please share your thoughts on how to help loved ones through the holidays if they have lost a loved one.

Comments

[Susan Winlaw]

Oh Kathleen, I send warm hugs to you and your Mom on this US Thanksgiving Day. I do know exactly what you are talking about. My first Thanksgiving without my Mom was only last year.

When the tears come, I do hope that you can take a deep breath and be flooded with a really good memory of your Dad at that moment. Then a smile will replace the tears.

I send my love to you both.
S>

[Janet Esposito]

Dear Kathleen,

My thoughts are with you, your mother, and your family this Thanksgiving. I know this must be a difficult holiday with the recent loss of your Dad, though I know you have a strong spirtual foundation to help ease the sorrow.

Warmest wishes,
Janet

[Kathryn Tull]

Dearest Kathleen,The holidays are an extremely difficult time to keep a smile on sometimes.
I have been facing the holidays in grief for days gone by for the nine years since the violent end of my marriage and the death of my beloved mother the same year. I have found that giving a hug to someone can help disperse one's own grief. Hug everyone you dare- they will welcome your love and you will be rewarded with the comfort of another human's touch and their smile.
My love to you today and always, as I smile through my own tears today.
Kathryn Tull,

[Roger Bauer]

Kathleen,
I was just thinking about this on the way back from sharing Thanksgiving dinner with my dad because my mom and brother have both passed away in the last year and a half.

Today is a reminder of how much they are missed but also the good times we shared together. While trying to focus mostly on the good memories and the laughs, it's equally hard to overlook the pain and sorrow the holidays bring without them being here.

Warm thoughts to you as I share in your sorrow over losing dear loved ones.

Roger