A bittersweet Father's Day

Today is a day many people share time with family and more specifically, with their fathers. Called by many different names; dad, father, pops or daddy our father is often the man who has had the greatest impact in our life.

On this Father's Day I am filled with gratitude and overwhelm with memories I have of the man who left a permanent impression on my heart, mind and soul. Today is bittersweet in that this is the first Father's Day without my dad.

I am blessed and very fortunate to have had a father who was the best I could have asked for, wished for or wanted. God knew exactly what I needed in a father.

Was he perfect? Not by any stretch of the imagination. But he was a good man with incredible values and standards of what a life should be.

Did we have tough times? Absolutely. Yet, in hindsight, I can see when my dad was the toughest was due to his love and concern during a time when I was rebellious and had chosen a very rough path for my life.

In my darkest hours words my father had spoken years before brought forth the smallest bit of hope as his wisdom began to shine a ray of hope. It was then that I first recognized what a good man my dad was and what he meant to me. This was an incredible turning point for me, now well over three decades ago. 

As I celebrate the memory of my father I reminisce on the life lessons he taught me that molded who I am today. From the very first memory when I was three to the last of his final days to his parting breath, I cherish and hold in high esteem the best man I ever knew and loved.

My father left a legacy that did not change the world, only the people in it who in turn impact the lives of those we come in contact with.

The things I remember most about my dad are loyalty, honesty, integrity, fidelity, patience, sincerity, and a deep love for his family.

His legacy is one that will forever live in my heart.

Comments

[Madge Woods]

Kathleen,

I am sorry you lost your Dad this last year. My dad died 7 years ago. I miss him a lot and like to remind myself of the great things he did for me. He was an amazing father who I thought was perfect. Clearly he wasn't and it has taken me years to figure it out and love him for who he was and not dwell on the negative in the last year. Thanks for your insights on your Dad. Memories are not for the faint of heart.

[Angela Treat Lyon]

Thanks for that, Kathleen - I could really feel that. You remind me of my own dad, who died in 1980 - seems like a century ago now. He and I fought tooth and nail up until one day about a year before he died. He'd come to visit me in San Francisco, where I was at the time, and we were having lunch together in one of those wonderful seafood restaurants down by the docks. I had my finger all pointed and I was ready to blast him with what I felt was 'the truth' of whatever it was we were disputing, and as I turned to him to speak, the sun came through the stained glass windows behind him and illuminated his face.

It didn't make him look like a saint! Rather, it made the lines on his face stand out to where I saw him as a completely different man - a quiet, loving father who only wanted to have a nice lunch with the only girl in the family who he adored. What a shift!

The words died in my mouth and we never fought again after that - and like you, I'm so grateful that he was the man he was. Thank you for your tribute - you have helped fill more light into my heart.

[Kathleen Gage]

Thank you both Angela and Madge for your own insights.

[Janet Slack]

Thanks, Kathleen, for this heartfelt tribute to your Dad. Mine has now been gone for many years and your words remind of the many things I cherished in him and of his legacy which lives on through me.